Dessert By Candy

Thanks to my friend Francis Roque, I have some very nice pictures showing off my new dress! The days leading up to the photoshoot was crazy hectic for me. My schedule was packed full with social activites, training, errands, and of course housecleaning. We agreed on having the pictures taken at my house so not only I had to get dolled up, I had to make sure my house was more or less presentable too! Haahaa. I woke up with a set of super under-eye dark circles on Saturday which luckily went away by Sunday. However, my bruises from skating did not coorperate and they were quite prominent all over my knees. Thank heavens for digital touch-ups!

Last Sunday, Francis worked very patiently with me during the photoshoot. I must admit, I have always been very uncomfortable in front of cameras. The undiverted attention really makes me tensed so I was not exactly easy to work with. I have lots to learn in that regard. Thankfully, under such difficult circumstances, Francis still managed to get some shots of me which I am very very pleased with. Here is a selection of pictures from that photoshoot.

Ooooh, I feel so pretty!!! Thank you Francis!

I made a batch of this 2-for-1 dessert for JS’s housewarming party.  It was very tasty. However, I think I would like to have a thicker layer of cheesecake. As it is, this is more like brownies with a cheesecake topping…hmmm.

Ingredients

Brownies Layer

• 170g bittersweet chocolate, chopped
• 85g unsweetened chocolate, chopped
• 130g all-purpose flour
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 227g unsalted butter, softened
• 300g granulated sugar
• 3 large eggs
• 1 tsp vanilla extract

Cheesecake Layer

• 454g cream cheese, softened
• 66g granulated sugar
• 1 large egg
• 1 tbsp heavy cream
• 1 tsp vanilla extract

Method

1. Preheat oven to 300F. Line a 9×13 pan with parchment paper.
2. Melt the bittersweet chocolate and unsweetened chocolate over a double-boiler. Cool until tepid.
3. Stir together flour and salt in a small bowl. Using the paddle attachment, cream the butter and sugar. Beat in the eggs one at a time and add vanilla. Beat in the melted chocolate. Mix in the flour at low speed until just combined.
4. Spread the chocolate mixture evenly over the pan. Put the pan in the freezer while we work on the cheesecake layer.
5. Using the paddle attachment, beat cream cheese with sugar until smooth. Beat in egg, heavy cream, and vanilla until combined.
6. Gently spread the cheesecake mixture over the brownies mixture. Smooth with an offset spatula.
7. Bake for 75 minutes until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out with a few moist crumbs.
8. Cool the bars completely or more preferably, chill the bars in the pan before cutting into 24 squares. Store in refrigerator. Let it come to room temperature before serving.

I sent him a note against my better judgement. That note basically sealed the deal that there’s absolutely no goodwill between us. I’m feeling torn about this. On one hand, I finally achieved what I have set out to do. On the other hand, I wrote my note with the hope that he would deny what I said. Well, surprise surprise, he did not play along. I suppose the lack of denial means he really does agree with me…my fear has come true.

I need to surround myself with people who appreciate me for who I am and I am sad that he’s not one of them.

I went to Bayview Village today to look at pretty clothes. Obviously I can’t speak for all women but I do find that checking out the latest fashion to be a very enjoyable activity. So there I was, walking from shop to shop, admiring the different silouettes, fabric, rich colour, etc. Typically at this time of the year, I would be shopping for a holiday party semi-formal outfit . But of course, shopping with such a specific purpose usually ends up being a frustratingly unfruitful experience.

When I walked into the boutique Honey, my eyes were immediately drawn to a cranberry red Nicole Miller satin cocktail dress (here is a picture of the dress in leopard print). With its plunging neckline and fitted bodice, it’s not the kind of dress I would choose. However, out of pure curiosity, I tried it on. Although I initially felt like a sausage walking out of the dressing room (the dress is very fitted), one look in the mirror changed my opinion. It looked absolutely stunning. The stretch satin hugs the body while the ruching hides many sins. This dress is very slimming. For such a classic silouette, this is the kind of "investment piece" which can be worn for years to come, as long as I don’t pack on the pounds. I think this ranks as the easiest party dress shopping experience ever.

I don’t usually pay much attention to the sales representatives when I try on clothes. I always suspect that they would heap compliments on you just to make a sale. However, I had to chuckle today when the girl told me "Your butt looks amazing in this dress. How do you get a butt like that?". I suppose training for speed skating six days a week since January do have some side benefits after all! So girls, here goes my advice of the day: Try speedskating for an amazing butt. You will not regret it.

The holiday season is upon us and to me, it is now time for holiday baking. One of the reasons I love holiday baking is the fact that I’m making something unique for my friends and family. When I bake, I look forward to see the smiles on the recipients face as they enjoy a little bite of sweetness.

This year, I’m doing something a little different. In support of Toronto Inline Skating Club (TISC), I am hosting a holiday cookies fundraiser. TISC is a non-profit club dedicated to the promotion of inline skating as a way to achieve fitness, make friends, and compete. Since I started training with my club in 2006, I’ve learned so much about skating and I would like to take this opportunity to give back to the small community of inline speed skating. While I contribute my time and baking skill, all the profits of this fundraiser will be donated to the club for purposes such as equipment purchase, hosting local races, and our day-to-day operation.

Cookie Assortment

A delicious and gorgeous gift idea! The cookie assortment contains 15 pieces of buttery cookies made with high quality ingredients, ready for gift giving. With selections ranging from sophisticated to "what Mom used to make", you’ll be sure to find a favourite! Whether you want a special treat for yourself or you’re looking for the perfect hostess gift, the cookie assortment is as versatile as it is handsome.

Some sample selection includes:

• chocolate hazelnut sable
• cranberry pistachio shortbread
• white chocolate chips fudge cookies
• walnut chocolate chips cookies
• pecan brownies
• peanut butter and jam squares

Each box of cookie assortment is $15.

Single Selection

Looking for a special dessert for your party or you’re just really really craving for a batch of brownies? The following single selection dessert may just be the answer!

Pecan Brownies: 12 pieces of rich chocolatey pecan goodness. $15

Peanut Butter And Jam Squares: 12 pieces of PB&J, with a choice of seedless raspberry, strawberry, or black currant flavour. $15

Espresso Chocolate Chips Walnut Cookies: 24 soft chewy cookies loaded with chocolate chips and toasted walnut pieces with a hint of espresso. $20

Lemon Bundt Cake: Melt-in-your-mouth buttery cake with a hint of lemon. $15

Order Deadline

Please place your order by email to dessertbycandy [at] hotmail [dot] com no later than November 30, 2007.

Order Pickup

Dec 9, 2007 8:30am - 10:30am Scooter’s Roller Palace, Mississauga

Dec 9, 2007 3:00pm - 5:00pm Langstaff Community Center, Richmond Hill

Dec 10, 2007 8:00pm - 10:30pm Scooter’s Roller Palace, Mississauga

If you know me personally and I see you on a regular basis, we can arrange for an alternative pick up time and location between Dec 8, 2007 to Dec 11, 2007.

Payment

Cash or Electronic Money Transfer. Please email me for details.

All product either contains nuts or came into contact with nuts.

This may not make much sense but I do have a systematic way of dealing with post-break up blues. Every time I miss him, I sever one of the ties I had with him. I figure I will eventually stop missing him or I will run out of connections, whichever comes first. The process of cutting off all ties hurts and soothes at the same time. It hurts because I do the exact opposite of what I want. It is soothing in a twisted way because if it hurts this much, it must be good for me.

I’ve been quite miserable lately so I finally had the guts to resign from a project which we started. I’ve been reluctant of letting this project go but it is an inevitable outcome which I only tried to delay. Now that I’ve resigned, I’m feeling a sense of relief. It’s not the good kind of relief though…just crossing yet another item off the list. I am slowly running out of items on that list to cross. I want to get well soon.

Back in the days of co-op placements in university, we had the pleasure of going through a full-blown job search experience every eight months. Updating resume is of course on the to-do list every time and we quickly learned words that would catch the employers attention. One of such phrases is "motivated self-initiator". Whether that was really such a good idea is best left for discussion on another day. However, I do try to live my life as a person who makes things happen.

There are many ways to make things happen. Most of them involve doing things out of my comfort zone. I love the rush of adrenaline when I just finish what I set out to do and the following suspense of waiting for the outcome. It is a very tangible moment when I know that I am living and that my action directly affects the consequence. I live for those moments. There are too many things in life that I cannot change. So why not put my ideas to the test for a change?

When was the last time you made something happen?

It is that time of year again when I start planning for holiday baking. Even though I’m still finalizing some of my ideas, I need to start stocking up my pantry for baking ingredients already. From experience, I know which ingredients are indispensable and which are likely to be used so when I spot a deal in the store, I stock up. For example, Loblaws is now selling their PC Dark Chocolate 500g bars for $2.99 so I bought three of them. I know what you must be thinking…isn’t this made for straight consumption? And how’s the quality for baking? Well, I’ve been using this chocolate for years from ganache to butter cake to cookies to brownies. In terms of value, it really can’t be beaten. Even at its regular price of $5.49, it is more affordable than most high quality baking chocolate. Oh heck, it is more affordable than those one ounce size blocks of baking chocolate which I wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole! Sure, it does not have a lot of nuance in flavour when compared with brands such as Valhorna and Callebaut. However, for a good old fashion batch of brownies, I think the delicate flavour would be lost anyway. The new packaging clearly stated that this French-made chocolate contains 72% cocoa mass. Not too bad for $2.99!

Butter is also another essential ingredient for baking. My personal favourite is the Lactantia My Country Cultured Unsalted Butter. Where I live, the best price in town can be found in Costco for $4.39 a pound. I still remember how crazy it was a few years ago when EC and I loaded our buggy with 20lb of butter for our holiday cookies! While I was at Costco, I also picked up some nuts and dried apricots. I like the high turnover at the location which I frequent so I can be sure the nuts are fresh. There’s nothing like rancid nuts to ruin a batch of cookies.

It’s pretty amazing how feelings can change so quickly. This must be nature working its magic to let me heal. Similar to a physical cut, a heartbreak evolves into different stages of pain until it eventually just becomes an inconvenience. Here’s a timeline in the last few weeks.

minus 6 days: He left me sitting there crying.

minus 3 days: Okay, I have slow reaction but what kind of bf does that?! Better talk to him about this face to face before weekend road trip.

minus 2 days: Circumstances didn’t allow for an opportunity to clear the air before road trip. Combining with many other things going on in my life, it looked like I was falling into a phase of depression. I was still in denial though.

minus 1 day: Depression was getting out of my control but I was stuck in that road trip with him. Avoiding all contact so I wouldn’t say anything I would regret. Sigh, all I really wanted was a hug and that would make everything okay. Alas, he seemed determine to irritate me instead. Fine. I must distance myself from him.

break up day: Getting more depressed by the hour and battling those irrational but familiar thoughts drained every ounce of energy from me. Why was I still stuck on that road trip? Finally returned home and had a chance to confess about my depression and apologized. He decided to break up with me but he wouldn’t abandon me as a friend. What kind of BS was that?! I bawled my eyes out but he was not moved. I drove home in a blur of tears.

plus 1 day: Woke up and cried some more. I was heartbroken.

plus 3 days: His very presence annoyed me. I couldn’t stand the sight of him but at the same time I really really missed him.

plus 7 days: What the heck did he mean he didn’t know what happened?! I was very ill and he decided to leave. What’s so hard to understand about that? Wasn’t he the one who dumped me? Sheesh.

plus 8 days: He sent me a note saying he regretted his decision and wanted to turn back the clock. This required face to face discussion. "Maybe Tuesday"?! Hmm, that’s not a good sign. Apparently this was not important enough to him to schedule a time. I would give him benefit of a doubt though. I really wanted things to work.

plus 9 days: He totally blew me off. Wonderful. Just wonderful. Sending out a note like that only to back off?! I was pissed.

plus 11 days: Well, if he wasn’t coming to me, I would go to him. Coward. What did I want to talk to him about though? I forgot because I totally lost my temper like never before. There’s no going back now. He is my enemy for hurting me out of ignorance. He can wallow in his own stupidity for eternity.

I am on the road to recovery. It’s been two months although some days are tougher than others. The ultimate goal of course is to remove him from the fabric of my emotion so ceasing all contact is a key objective. Friendship is not out of the question in distant future but it is not something to consider until I heal from this senseless heartbreak. In the mean time, I went from being totally annoyed by his existence to just mildly irritated. I’m sure that, soon, I’ll be able to treat him as if he doesn’t exist.

You know how people say the 24hr after a disappearance is the key period of which police can gather clues to locate the missing person? Once this window has passed, the chance of ever finding this person again is minimal. I think a similar window of opportunity exists after a break up. After a month, the chance of reconciliation becomes really slim. I believe this window of opportunity has come and gone for that relationship.

My Nintendo DS Lite is the latest addition to my ever expanding family of pink personal electronics gadgets. I think it makes a pretty duo when partnered with a pink cupcake full of pink sprinkles and sparkly sugar. If I am a little girl, I would squeal with delight if I see this on the table the day of my birthday.

A few days ago, I needed one cupcake as part of my Halloween costume. So what did I do? I went and baked two dozens. I used a double batch of Rose Levy Beranbaum’s pound cake recipe in vanilla variation (lemon poppyseed variation available here) which always gives me very consistent results. With all these cakes waiting for me to frost, I couldn’t really relax the whole weekend. After much procrastination, I finally decided to go the lazy route and frost the cakes with a simple cream cheese icing. Unlike buttercream which is so labour-intensive, this icing is a one-bowl miracle and tastes fantastic. However, it is not stiff enough for piping and not thin enough for glazing. I had to smear it on each cake using good old offset spatula. Not to be overly picky, but there’s smearing and then there’s picture-perfect smearing. I think I did a pretty good job of making an artisitc swirl that looks homey yet precise at the same time.

Cream Cheese Icing (enough to frost 24 cupcakes)

Ingredients

• 8oz cream cheese, softened
• 4oz icing sugar
• 2 tbsp corn syrup
• 2 tbsp milk
• 1 tbsp lemon juice
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• a pinch of salt
• pink gel food colouring

Method

1. Put everything in a mixing bowl and beat at medium speed until no lumps remains.
2. Using a toothpick, add a knife tip of food colouring to the icing. It is better to start with little and work your way up. You can always add more colour to deepen the shade. Mix at medium speed until the colour is evenly distributed.